


Having It Together

by forwhomthecrescentrolls



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Impostor Syndrome, Interior Decorating, Plushies, a little steam, cinnamon bun - Freeform, for all of us Sagittarians whose birthdays have merged with Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:53:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forwhomthecrescentrolls/pseuds/forwhomthecrescentrolls
Summary: It’s her 29th birthday after a year of being with Joel, and he makes sure she knows she is right where she is supposed to be.
Relationships: Joel Edmundson/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Having It Together

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Unfortunately I am not dating Joel, and this story did not happen in real life.   
> Warning: steaminess (nothing explicit)  
> tumblr @croissanthockeyblog
> 
> *This story is posted out of chronological order for the series, and it takes place in a world with no virus.

I was very sleepy and a little confused when I felt the mattress dip beside me. I had heard Joel getting ready to go to practice while I dozed, but when I rolled over he was sitting on the bed, a cardboard bakery box with a little greasy spot on one side between us. He smiled at me when he saw I was awake, and then he opened the box to stick a pink-swirled candle into whatever was inside. It smelled like –

“You got me a cinnamon bun.” 

He nodded. “From that bakery you like.” He lit the candle. “Happy birthday to you…” He reached down to smooth the baby hairs back from my forehead. 

I let him sing to me, even though it made me feel a little like crying. Sometimes I still felt overwhelmed when I felt the full weight of how much he loved me. I leaned forward to blow the candle out before I reached for my glasses on the nightstand so I could see to start pulling the pastry apart. 

“This is so sweet, Joel. Did I sleep through you going to get this?”

“I went before the game yesterday and hid it in the closet last night. All my suits probably smell like a cinnamon bun now, but I’m not complaining.” He pulled off a piece and grinned. 

“I bet the truck does too.” 

“Worth it. And before I go -” He opened the drawer of the nightstand on his side of the bed and shuffled around in it. He sat back up with a palm-sized square box in his hand.

My hands were sticky, but I took it and opened it. I held up the thin chain that was inside and watched the morning light from the window shine off the tiny gemstones on the moon and star charms. 

“It’s an anklet,” Joel said, scrolling on his phone. “And you can wear it,” he turned his phone around to show me the screen, “when we’re in Cancun.” I blinked at the phone screen long enough to tell that it was a confirmation email for airplane tickets for our All-Star break trip. “I guess that’s not part of your present, though, we were gonna do that anyway.” 

“I love it. All of it. Oh my gosh, Joel,” I reached for him, and he leaned over what was left of the cinnamon bun to hug me. 

He kissed my forehead before he stood up from the bed. “When I get back from practice, I’m all yours, okay? Whatever you want to do today, we’ll do it.”

I nodded. “Love you; be careful. And Joel,” I reached out for his hand before he could get too far away, “Thank you.”

He leaned down to give me a quick kiss on the lips. “Anything for my girl.”

\---

I went ahead and got out of bed so I would be ready when Joel got back. I was entirely willing to admit that I took a long time, even more than when we first started dating. But I also looked the part a little more now than I had a year before. 

There was a lot more attention on Joel now than there had been in North Carolina. He loved it, of course, but I knew it meant I had to be conscious of attention on me, too. I’d had my hair ombre-dyed at a salon some of the other girlfriends had recommended and tried a few of the same skin treatments they talked about. I even looked like my Pilates routine was working better for me, maybe because I was doing some of it at a studio now where an instructor could correct my form. Today I had put on a cashmere wrap sweater that would have been just the combination of expensive and fragile that I would have been too afraid to wear it before, and the jeans and ankle boots I was wearing with it were nicer brands than I was used to. 

I admired the anklet Joel had given me again before I tucked it away safely in my jewelry box on the dresser. I didn’t feel like I deserved it or any of the other luxuries that were part of my life now. I often tried to frame it all as a trick we were playing together so that everyone would think I belonged. 

I could see in the mirror that even disregarding the improvements in my appearance that had been purchased, I was better rested and more relaxed than I could ever remember myself being. I’d had time to recover in our peaceful home, and I was grateful every day for how safe Joel made me feel. For so much of the 29 years I had been alive, I hadn’t felt those things. I could let myself enjoy that at this moment, my life was lovely. It was my birthday, after all.

I took what was left of the cinnamon bun downstairs with me to wait for Joel to get home. I microwaved a mug of milk and stirred sugar and cocoa powder into it and stood at the kitchen counter, staring across to the living room at our brand new faux Christmas tree. I had wanted a real one, but Joel had talked me into this one with the promise that he would assemble it. We had gone for the seven-foot size because the ceiling in the living room was so high, and it would have been ridiculous if Joel had been taller than the tree. We had plugged the tree in each night since we got it a few days earlier. Even though we hadn’t picked out any ornaments yet, the glow made the dark afternoons a little more cheerful.

I tried to envision what would look best on the tree, what colors we should use, what would make the living room in general look more cozy and less like we had just moved in a few months before. Both of our families were coming to Montreal for the holiday, and I had never decorated or hosted by myself. 

I heard the truck door slam in the driveway and went to let Joel in. “I saved the last bite for you.” I said, closing the door behind him and holding out the cinnamon bun box. 

“Aww, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Thought I’d try to butter you up a little before I drag you around shopping for home décor.” 

Joel raised his eyebrows as he lifted the piece of pastry to his mouth. “You want to do that today?”

“Our poor tree is naked.”

“Doesn’t sound so bad…” He grinned and pulled me against him, squeezing my behind through my jeans.

“Oh, you were hoping I’d want to stay in,” I smiled up at him and brushed a few crumbs off his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his hoodie under my fingers. 

“No, you’re right, this is a good time to go. I’m going to be on the road a lot between now and Christmas.” He kissed the top of my head and headed to the fridge to search for last night’s dinner leftovers. “I’ll eat something and change clothes, and then we’ll head out.”

\---

“It absolutely smells like a cinnamon bun in here.”

Joel laughed as he started the truck. I was shivering and sitting on my hands, waiting for the heat to kick in. We already had a little snow a few times that month with some more forecasted for that day, and I didn’t feel ready at all for what the rest of the winter would bring. It was why we had talked about going somewhere warm for the bye week. “Oh, I was wondering, is Cancun going to be a group trip like last year?”

“Nope, just us this time.”

“It’s going to be so nice to get defrosted.”

“And I have a little surprise up my sleeve for that trip. Just a heads up.”

“Uh-oh, he’s plotting something.”

“Uh-huh. And it’s a secret.” 

“Oh no.” 

Joel smirked straight ahead at the road. He wasn’t going to let me get any more information out of him about that today. He changed the subject. “I’ve been asking around about where the best pizza is; does that sound good for dinner?”

“You know me so well; I’ve been craving pizza for weeks.” 

“Okay, then we have to go.” He reached over to grab my hand and pull it closer so he could hold it on the console. 

“Is it a fancy pizza place? Is that the reason for this great outfit? This is advanced handsome.” He was wearing my favorite boots of his, gray suede ones, and the jeans that fit him so perfectly, and a cozy inky blue cotton sweater with his pea coat and a beanie. I reached over to squeeze his thigh before putting my hand back in his. 

Joel laughed, and I didn’t think it was only the cold making his cheeks pink. “You were so dolled up when I got home I couldn’t just leave my sweats on.”

“This is that crazy expensive sweater,” I reminded him with a sheepish smile. I could vividly remember how he talked me into it in a mall fitting room after I looked at the tag and panicked.

“It wasn’t _that_ bad, and you look fantastic in it.” He ran his thumb over the soft wine-colored fabric that peeked out from the sleeve of my coat. “And you still don’t have that many warm things. We should be shopping for you instead of the house.”

“I promise I’ll drag you to the mall again once we get the decorating figured out.”

“Somehow I think it’s going to be me dragging you.” 

\---

We started our search at the bigger chain stores. I tried to picture all of the options in our living room and remember the design rules my mom had taught me. Nothing I saw seemed right. Everything was too traditional or too contemporary for the style of the house, or the color would look off beside the wood floor or the sofa or the kitchen countertops. Too glittery, too shiny, too plaid, too tacky. And these were just the rules I knew _my_ mom lived by - If I tried to align myself with Lois’s design preferences, too, I was going to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of HomeSense.

“So…what kind of thing are we looking for, exactly?” Joel asked after watching me walk through half the store shaking my head.

“I sort of don’t know. I just want to make the house look…beyond reproach?”

“What?” He laughed.

“I mean, like, I want to seem competent, to your family, especially. You know, after what happened this summer. And I want my mom to think I did a good job. I always want her to be proud of me.” I stopped at the end of an aisle at the back of the store where it was quiet and we wouldn’t have an audience. 

Joel leaned on the empty shopping cart he was pushing. “She’s going to be so happy to see you after all this time she won’t even notice the house.”

“She’ll be happy to see me, but she’ll definitely notice the house. It’s interior designer brain; she can’t help it.” 

“But what would make _you_ happy, baby girl? How do you really want it to look?”

“Honestly? A whole tree full of cute plushies. That’s the dream.”

“Then we’ll do it.”

“Your parents would think I was nuts. My parents probably know me well enough not to be surprised, but…”

“Hey, hey,” he put his hands on my shoulders, squeezing gently before running his hands up and down my arms. “I don’t want you getting stressed over this, it’s not worth that. If anything comes up, I’ll deal with my parents. I’ll talk to your parents too, if I have to.” His expression was serious, and there was concern in the wrinkle of his brow. I knew he was remembering what happened to me over the summer and didn’t want me to worry myself into a flare-up again.

I leaned in to hug him, and he wrapped his arms around me. “Thinking about turning 29 isn’t helping. I should know what I’m doing by now, but I feel the same as I did when I was a little girl. I’m supposed to have it together, and the only reason I have _anything_ together is because of you. And I just don’t want to embarrass you.”

“Embarrass me? There’s no way.” We let each other go, but Joel caught my hand in his as we headed up the next aisle. “You’re being way too hard on yourself, like always. It’s good enough that we have it together as a team. And when everybody’s here, I promise that’s how we’ll handle it. I won’t leave you hanging.”

I nodded. “And I appreciate that more than I can say. You know how I always want to be perfect, but…” I shook my head.

“I don’t know, you’re pretty perfect to me.”

\---

We ended up with lots of leftover pizza even though I ate as much as I wanted, and we had split a piece of chocolate cake after that. I brought the pizza boxes into the dimly-lit kitchen, Joel close behind me with our shopping bags. 

Between the chain stores and some smaller ones in the same neighborhood as the restaurant, we had collected a nice little haul of the basics – some baking and serving dishes, candles and holders for them to go in, and a few boxes of plain glass ornaments in gentle, muted colors. 

“I’ve always liked the minimalist look anyway,” I said, taking the ornaments out of the bags once the pizza was in the fridge. Creamy white, taupe, silvery gray, and soft shades of pink, blue, and violet. I liked the combination and thought it was restful to look at, and Joel had agreed with me in the store. 

“It’s going to look good. You’ve got that designer brain you were talking about.” He leaned down for a kiss, and I smiled at him before he headed through the dark room to plug in the tree. I followed, bringing the boxes along. 

It would be okay if the house looked a little empty and imperfect. Maybe it wouldn’t look so empty once everyone was there, and with enough wine to go around and the good food that my mom and I were planning to cook together, maybe I would still look like I knew what I was doing as a hostess. And no matter what, it would be okay because Joel had my back, and if I needed defending, he would be there to do it. 

“I forgot,“ Joel said, walking back through the kitchen to the coat closet in the entryway, digging around the snow boots in the bottom and pulling out a pink gift bag, “You have another present.”

He brought it back to the living room and handed it to me. I felt something soft when I reached into the tissue paper, and by the glow of the seven-foot pre-lit Fraser fir I saw that it was a fuzzy Cinnamoroll plush with a sweet expression and little angel wings on its back. 

I gasped a little. “He’s so cute! I love him.” I held its little face in my hands, stroking its soft, pink cheek and staring into its wide, blue eyes. I turned it over to look at the wings more closely. A thought struck me, and my eyes traveled upward.

Joel followed my gaze, and we grinned at each other. He took the plushie from my hands and reached up to nestle it in a secure spot at the top of the tree.

“Thank you, Joel, he’s perfect,” I said, smiling, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest.

“I picked it out because I know you love that little guy, and because you’re my angel,” he said, twirling the ends of my hair in his fingers. “We don’t have to leave it up there if you don’t want to.”

“But we might!”

Joel’s eyes were soft in the dark, crinkled just a little with a smile. He ran his thumb over my cheek. “You look really pretty like this.”

“What, in the dark?” I laughed.

“I didn’t mean that!”

“I know.” I reached up to hold his face in my hands. I stood on my tiptoes, and he leaned down to kiss me, a kiss that quickly became heated. Joel lifted me up to carry me to the sofa, my legs locked around him and my lips pressed to his neck.

\---

I sat in Joel’s lap when we were done, our sweaters and jeans in a heap on the floor beside us, our hands trailing softly over each other’s warm skin. Joel reached across the sofa for the fluffy white blanket we kept there, draping it over my shoulders and holding my body tight against his. I tilted his chin down for a kiss, and he nuzzled his nose against mine when he pulled away.

“How long are you going to stay 29 now?” He teased.

“A couple years. I’ll let you catch up and then we’ll do 30 together.”

Joel smiled, closing his eyes and bringing his hand to the back of my neck to pull me even closer. He kissed my temple as I relaxed against him. “Happy birthday, baby girl. I love you.”


End file.
